


The Seahorse Effect

by sabinelagrande



Category: Exiles (Marvel), Marvel (Comics), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Hearts and Rainbows, Issue: Exiles 54 Rube Goldberg, M/M, Rube Goldberg Plot Devices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-05
Updated: 2012-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-28 23:12:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/313223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's about a cake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Seahorse Effect

**Author's Note:**

> XMFC fans: So here's absolutely everything you need to know about Exiles to read this story: Exiles was Marvel's version of Quantum Leap. A group of heroes jump from universe to universe fixing problems. This story is based on Exiles #54, which is, of course, about a cheese danish.

They appeared in front of a bakery, one with cheery cakes in the windows; the street seemed perfectly normal, as peacetime streets from roughly the twentieth century went.

Blink looked down at her arm. "We have to-" She stopped. "We have to deliver a cake to Xavier's School." Morph just looked at her, his head a question mark. "I don't know either."

"Are you sure?" Mimic asked. "Just a cake?"

Namora folded her arms. "We are not errand boys."

"Yes, we are," Beak said. "That is exactly what we are."

The shopkeeper stuck her head out of the window; she didn't seem in the least bit worried or surprised by their appearance. "Are you here about the cake?"

"Uh, I guess we are," Mimic said.

"Come on in," she told him. "It's all ready."

Cake in hand, they made their way out of town and towards the gate of the mansion; standing behind the gate, there were five identical little girls, standing all in a row. The one in the middle cocked her head to the side. "You have the cake." One of them ran over and hit the switch, and the gate swung open; the girls parted, letting them pass.

"Please let that be the creepiest thing I see today," Blink muttered, as they walked through.

Mimic looked back over his shoulder; the girls were following them, all in a line, walking in perfect sync. "As long as you don't look behind you, it might be."

They finally reached the doors; before Namora could make a grand entrance, Blink reached over her and pushed her back, using the doorbell instead. There was some noise from inside, and a man in a turtleneck swung the doors open; he held them wide open so that the little girls could flow in around him. "Can I help you?" he said.

"We're." Mimic looked around, trying to categorize exactly what they were. "We're from the bakery."

"Erik," someone called from the next room, "who is it?"

"It's the cake, Charles," he called back. "Thanks," he said, handing them a few dollars. "Here's something for your trouble."

The doors shut.

"Was that Magneto?" Beak said. "I think that was Magneto."

"Look, I don't even care at this point," Mimic said. "As long as nothing bad happens in the next thirty seconds, then everything is-"

Erik saw a pink flash from outside the window, but he wasn't particularly worried. "Did you know they've started hiring mutant help at the bakery?" he asked Charles, leaning down to kiss him.

"We'll have to make sure and buy from them more often, then," Charles said, turning and wheeling himself away. "Now hurry up. If the children get any more restless, I'll have to put everyone on pause."

"It's not that bad of an idea," Erik said, walking towards the kitchen.

"I'll take that," Darwin said, interrupting him at the door. "Everything's ready. You go sit down."

Erik did as he was told, taking his seat between Charles and Raven. He started to wonder if it was a bad idea, though, because he could hear Hank and Darwin hissing at each other behind him.

"I told you this was a bad idea, I'm going to get fur in the frosting-"

"Look, just move your-"

"Ow! Watch where you're going!"

"I'm sorry, man-"

"Now it's going to smell like burning hair in here!"

"Whatever, no one cares, let's just go."

They came through the doors singing, and everyone was quick to join in. Erik looked around at all of them- the children, Moira, Alex, Sean- and he didn't know what couldn't have made it more perfect. He slipped his hand into Raven's, leaning over to accept Charles's kiss.

The baby moved in Charles's arms, making a happy sound, and Charles stroked a hand over her beautiful blue skin. "Now, since the birthday girl is a little too young, someone is going to have to blow out the candles," he said. "Ororo, would you care to do the honors?"

Ororo stood up, smoothing down her dress before raising her arms; Erik may have flinched back a little, given that there was a very good chance that this was going to end up with icing all over everyone. But she was right on target, a cool breeze blowing the flames out.

The snipers could hear the applause from outside the window. "I've got a clear shot on Xavier," one of them said into his radio.

"I can take out Lehnsherr," the other one added. "But the blue one's going to be collateral."

"Position one," the radio said. "Take it. Position two, hold."

"Copy," One said, readying to fire, but Two put a hand over his arm.

"We can't do this," he said. "This isn't fair."

"This isn't about fair," One replied. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Look at them!" Two said. "They've got cake, for christ's sake! They're in there having a fucking birthday party!"

Neither of them had time to react before Wolverine dropped onto them from the tree, putting his claws cleanly through their chests. "And you're not invited, bub."

«Logan,» Charles said. «I'm so glad you could make it.»

"I want a corner piece," he said.

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a prequel! If you are interested in where blue-skinned babies come from, you can read [The Old-Fashioned Way](http://archiveofourown.org/works/314282) (NC-17).


End file.
